Salad Days

Today was amazing.

I ate two salads.
Reworked over 7,000 words of the dissertation.
Finished grading for most of a class.
Had dinner with a friend and her kiddo (and S-Baby).
Went to Target.
Shaved.
Fell asleep by 8:30 or so.

And then... I woke up with pink eye. Again.

But did you read about the salads?

weighty times

Sigh. Life is so difficult sometimes, for so many people. You know, I sit here and think about my world and my problems. And, let’s be honest, sometimes I wallow a little. Flying to NY was difficult last week - the seats were constrictive, and I wasn’t super thrilled with being stuck on the runway for almost two hours - TWICE! - in planes that were packed to the gills with people.

But then I came home to find that the brother of one of my dear friends had been killed in a car accident, and I can’t even imagine her grief. It tears at my heart to even breathe the thought of being in her position.

And another friend is trapped in a body that has begun to fail him because of the MS that he’s been carrying in his system for nine years - and he’s just an amazing person with so much life and energy that it’s hard for him to be in this position.

We all carry the weight of our souls with us; I forget, sometimes, just how heavy that can be.

half-assed...

So. Today was a little extreme in terms of food.

AM - 1 pancake, 2 eggs, 2 pieces bacon, 2 pieces sausage
Lunch - 2 double cheeseburgers, 1 small fry
Snack - a LITTLE bit of popcorn at Harry Potter 7.1
Dinner - Mashed potatoes, grilled shrimp (6), chicken

Exercise - haven't decided yet. But I'll get 10+ minutes in before bed.

I think that part of the issue is that I was so stinking relieved that the kiddo slept in until 7 this morning that I was in celebratory mode. And then I was cold (we've had a cold rain going pretty much all day) and in a hurry for lunch. Dinner wasn't bad, imo. That lunch-time stuff though; that was a little wonky.

So, not as a reward for my slackerness, but as a motivator to keep going, I downloaded Half-Assed to the Kindle to read. I also grabbed my print copies of Julia Cameron's The Writing Diet and Chris Downie's The Spark to read through over this Thanksgiving Day weekend.

Will let you know how it goes...

yesterday...

I'm so bad at back-tracking what I ate if it's been more than 24 hours. Today is not actually 11/23; it's 11/24. And I have a vague recollection... but not much of one.

In fact, I barely remember 11/23. Mostly because le bebe woke up again at 3:30 in the morning - and stayed awake. Again. So the day itself was kind of a sleepless blur.

Here's what I remember:
Lunch - crab nachos @ Joe's Crab Shack, 1/2 plate
Dinner - soup, sandwich, part of a peanut butter rice krispy bar @ McAllisters.

I think that I danced in the morning with the kiddo. I wouldn't swear to that, though.

Oh well. Moving on...

Hoarders

The bebe woke up this morning at 3:30. We did not go back to bed. It made for a tired kind of day.

Food:
Snack - muffin
Breakfast - 2 sausage burritos (mcd's)
Lunch - hummus & veggies, soup
Snack - yogurt & granola
Dinner - sandwich, cheese stick, hummus & veggies (a little)
Snack(s) - popsicle, mints... cough drops?

Exercise:
cleaning out the garage


So. Off topic, a little. I'm watching Hoarders while I write this post, and I definitely see some overlap between the kinds of compulsions that the people on this show have and the kinds of compulsions that overeaters have. And, at first, I was watching the show thinking, "At least my house isn't like that." But now I'm watching it wondering if we don't all have something that we're at least a little obsessive about.

cookie love

Thanksgiving Break has (kind of) started for me already. I teach two classes tomorrow morning, but they're both kind of a Q&A re: the students' final projects, so that's easy. On one hand, the fact that it's turkey break is awesome; even with the coughing, I can already feel my body starting to relax. On the other hand, my brain seems to have been hardwired to grab extra sweets to celebrate the fact that I'm on vacation. I have a real fondness for sugar cookies with icing, and they're, what?, in season (?) right now. This is unfortunate. Going to have to ground myself from the grocery store over the next three days.

In the meantime, here was today:

Breakfast: two cinnamon muffins
Lunch: pulled pork sandwich, a couple bites of green bean casserole & cheesy potatoes, cookies (3)
Dinner: 1/2 small basket of onion rings, 1 cheese stick, 3 boneless wings (B-Dubs)
Snack: ice cream
Snack: ham salad on Hawaiian rolls (2)

Exercise: 20 minutes of Just Dance

Looking over what I ate, it looks like total crap. Or, at least, like there are absolutely zero veggies. So, tomorrow... veggies! Maybe hummus & veggies for lunch? Hmm... I need more ideas re: how to better incorporate veggies into my daily life...

Viddle-Swappin

The weekends always seem to get me in trouble. Not with exercise as much as with food. Mostly, I think because I have time to go out, for one thing. And socializing with my family and friends has somehow (d)evolved into grabbing dinner - probably because everybody has to eat. Not that I don't like eating out with people; it's fun, and we almost always practice the fine art of viddle-swappin, so I get to try new foods. But I'm going to need to diversify my family/friend-oriented activities. I used to do a "family dinner" with a couple of close friends at our homes during the week; maybe we should get back to that...

Anyway, here's the damage for today:

Snack - yogurt and granola
Breakfast - Route 66 (2 pancakes, 2 eggs, 2 pieces of bacon, 2 sausage links - minus an egg)
Lunch - Chicken nuggets and tater tots
Snack - ice cream
Dinner - PBJ sandwich, granola bar

Exercise - 15 minutes of Wii Just Dance (with S-Baby on my hip -> hard-core!)

Okay, so here are some Non-Scale Victories (NSVs) from today:
1. I stopped eating at breakfast when I was full, so there was still food on my plate when I left.
2. Did you see the part about dancing with S-Baby on my hip? I told him that he was a #25 weight ball for me.
3. Dinner? Totally swapped out my plan to hit Taco Bell on the way home for something that would be lighter.

Maybe today wasn't as much of a wash as I was thinking.

Sidenote: I haven't weighed myself to get a baseline, but I'm considering calling the doctor's office in a week or two to find out what my weight was on Tuesday when I went in - I never look at the scale when I go to the doc's office. I always figure that a lecture is on the way, so I go into denial mode and pretend like I only weigh myself once a week so that I don't obsess over it (I don't know that anybody is actually buying this fabulous story, however). At some point (soon), I'll face whatever the number was - I will! Otherwise, how will I get my awesome prizes for losing weight? - but not until I'm pretty sure that I've lost something and will actually receive said prize(s).

ssdd

I had a really good day today. I'm starting to feel more like myself, for one thing.

Breakfast: two donuts
Snack: slice of pumpkin spice bread
Lunch: bbq chopped chicken salad & chicken-noodle soup, plus chips (Panera)
Dinner: honey mustard chicken & rice, handful of small cookies

Exercise: Wii Sports

Okay, don't give me grief about Wii Sports. I played baseball and tennis. And I sometimes put my whole body into it. Kind of. No cardio. Fine... I'll do better tomorrow. ;)

One kind of weird - but maybe good? - thing about today was that I actually bought four donuts (with the rationale that I might eat one or two tomorrow), but I wasn't paying attention when the bakery clerk put them in my bag, and she gave me two that weren't what I wanted. So I sprayed them with cooking spray and threw them away. I don't think I've ever pulled something out of the garbage to eat it, but I have this (admittedly, slightly irrational) fear that someday I'll become a garbage-eater. And that kind of grosses me out on ten million different levels. Ergo, the cooking spray.

Supernatural Me

Off-Topic:
I spent most of this morning's sick-day lounging around my parents' basement, catching up on Supernatural. A little concerned about the fact that SAM has somehow become the sex symbol in that show. But while I was watching, I also pimped out the blogroll for this page, joined BlogHer, and registered on Blog to Lose. Because, really, even when I'm sick, it drives me crazy to do absolutely nothing. So just sitting still is a compromise.



ON Topic:
Part of this blog project is going to be to track what I eat and how I exercise each day... in hopes of not only keeping me honest about, but also just plain aware of, what I eat each day.

Breakfast: Steak n Shake's sausage sourdough breakfast sandwich

Snack: A handful of York peppermint patty bites, less than a handful of cheese popcorn

Lunch: Bowl of Campbell's soup, 3 Hawaiian rolls

Snack(s): Popsicle (hello, for the throat)

Dinner: easiest Bacon Chicken recipe ever -> bbq bacon chicken, small helping of mashed potatoes, mini-Christmas tree cookies (a handful)

Snack: Raspberry yogurt with granola

Exercise: 20 minutes of Just Dance

Whenever my family goes on vacation together or embarks on a new adventure, one of the questions we always ask is "high/low?" - as in, what was your high today? what was your low?

My low today was definitely trying to get S-Baby to eat the dinner that I'd prepared. He's apparently not a fan of the BBQ sauce. Or, really, chicken in general. He did like the mashed potatoes and cookies, as evidenced by the fact that he ate some and then smashed them together and rubbed them into his hair. And then dinner was over. I guess it wasn't a LOW low, though; it was just frustrating to (unsuccessfully) try to keep him from, you know, either throwing the food on the floor or mashing it into his hair.

But my favorite part of the day has to have been the last hour or so - the raspberry yogurt/granola combo and the dancing. I haven't done Just Dance since early summer (or maybe even late spring?). I'd forgotten how much flat-out fun it is to listen to the music and just rock it out a little. I get so caught up in the Mama-ing sometimes that I forget to take time to do the things that I enjoy without my favorite munchkin too.

Sicko: Rebooting My Healthy Life

I went to the doctor yesterday because I've been fairly miserable, physically, over the past week or so - exhausted, coughing, sneezing, headache, bodyache, etc. Sounds like the common cold, right?

Not so much.

I have bronchitis AND strep throat. Ridiculous.

And, as I've been sprawled out in bed for the past 24 hours, I've been reminded of a couple of harsh truths:

1. Five years ago, I was in MUCH better shape than I am right now. I had lost 150 pounds, and I was just starting my PhD. Over the course of the PhD, I've gained all 150+ back, and now I am physically just kind of ick. And that's on good days.

2. Over the past couple of weeks, whenever I've had to walk across campus, I've found myself gasping for air. And, really, even now, I'm not sure if that's because I'm so very out of shape or if it's because of the bronchitis.

3. This is the fourth time I've been sick this semester. Clearly, my body is trying to tell me something.

4. Six months ago, I became the foster mama to a wonderful, loving little boy. If I want to live to see him graduate from college - hell, from high school - I'm gong to need to get my shit together.

5. I'm on the job market right now. In the fall, I should be starting my first job as an assistant professor. I would really like to do this with, literally, a lighter load.

So, starting right now, I'm going to start taking better care of myself.

Here's what that means for me:
- becoming very mindful of when I'm hungry and what I'm hungry for
- incorporating exercise into my life on a daily basis
- infusing meditation and prayer into my daily rituals

That's it, really.

I have a gym membership. It's going to be used again as soon as I'm positive that I'm not contagious (read that: probably next Monday). In the meantime, yoga and pilates and walking it out at the house. Oh, and not eating things that (hello) hurt my throat. And I'll track what I eat online, just to continue to be mindful about it.